


Unlit Path

by MelchiorGabor



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, More tags to be added, Slow Burn, am i doing this right, first ao3 thing, they're doing their best
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-20 17:03:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11925309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelchiorGabor/pseuds/MelchiorGabor
Summary: Connor Murphy's dead, and everyone has already forgiven Evan Hansen for his previous afflictions, right? Not quite, as he somehow digs himself into a deeper hole upon the realization that Connor isn't actually dead.





	1. Revelation

**Author's Note:**

> Sup, dudes. This is my first ao3 fic, so please bear with me as I'm adjusting to the new format, lmao. Anyways, enjoy!

The air outside was oddly frigid for a spring night. Stars remained static in the sky, lighting up Evan Hansen's path back home. Unsurprisingly, he was returning to his house from a rigorous study session with his scholarly colleague, Jared Kleinman. The two were compatible, for sure, and they worked together fairly often to complete their school assignments.

Thus, Evan now trekked home along the familiar pathway he took almost every day. Strangely, the walk back felt slightly more menacing, although the tall boy merely figured that it was because of the night. He was correct, in a sense, but that still didn't rid him of his unease as he walked down the same shady alleyway he went through regularly. Sure, the dangers of walking down such a sketchy path were high, but it provided Evan a shortcut home. Each time, he took the risk.

Yet, there was a sense of unfamiliarity this time. He couldn't help but feel an odd, unwelcoming presence watching him. Of course he was unable to see anybody else there, because most things excluding a singular dirt path were veiled by a thick layer of darkness. Evan could only thank the moonlight for allowing him to slightly see that pathway.

Shuffling noises could be heard to the right of Evan. The boy was almost too hesitant to turn his head, but once he did, he was met with a pair of dark, glowering eyes that bore down upon him.

The man whom those eyes belonged to finally spoke after a moment of thick tension. "Hello," he said simply. He spoke in a hushed, monotone grumble, although his voice was smooth and nonchalant, as if he expressed no concern over a random boy walking through a dark alleyway in the middle of the night.

"Um, hi," Evan stammered. A pit of dread sunk deep within him, and for a long moment, he was convinced that this man would be his demise. "Can I help you?"

"No, but you can tell me what you're doing in a place like this so late," the man responded, retaining his casual demeanor. From what Evan could make out, the man brought up a hand and swept a long strand of hair out of his own face.

"I could ask the same of you," Evan mumbled, trying to come off as unintimidated. He wasn't very successful, as his voice was shaky and his breathing was shallow. Perhaps the man could sense this, because he chuckled humorlessly.

"You seem tense. Lighten up." There was the clicking sound of a lighter, and a flame suddenly lit up the dark area with bright, luminous flickering.

Much to Evan's dismay, the hand that held the lighter belonged to Connor Murphy, whose face was now illuminated with a warm, orange glow.

"You're– I mean—" Evan stuttered, at a loss for words (and breath). "You're supposed to be dead."

Connor laughed dryly, still staring at the shorter boy with a sharp gaze. "Hi, Evan," he hummed, taking in the look of horror that seemed to be permanently etched into Evan's pale face. "Fancy seeing you here."

"What the hell?" Evan gasped, taking in short, panicked breaths as he contemplated why an alleged dead man was standing in front of him. It was a borderline horrific sight, and Evan's mind immediately thought of Connor's form as an illusion made by his own mind. This couldn't actually be him, right?

Connor could read him easily. "You aren't seeing things. It's me, although I do apologize for startling you. I suppose I should justify myself, since I can't have you spreading the fact that I'm still alive to anybody else."

"Yeah... I think you should." Evan began taking deep breaths, trying to steady his heartbeat. After Connor figured that Evan calmed down, he spoke again.

"So, as you can see, I'm not dead. I, uh, ran away." He paused, letting the new information sink in. "I kept your note in my pocket, left those pants there, and fled to a cheap motel with some of the savings money my mom kept in a safe. It's not like she'd notice, though, because she's rich and doesn't care."

"S-she thought that the note I wrote was your suicide letter. Did you keep it intentionally?" Evan kept eye contact with Connor as he spoke, despite being nervous.

"Yeah. That way, she'd think I killed myself instead of running away. It was... a difficult plan to formulate. Thankfully, I have an excellent foresight, and my plan was executed perfectly," Connor mused. "But this money won't last forever, so I'm working in a bicycle shop in the meantime. If anyone I know comes by, I just hide out in the back and let some other employee take over for a while."

"This seems really intricate," Evan said shakily, although he was definitely intrigued. "Will you live like this forever?"

"No. Only until I turn eighteen. Then, I'll move out somewhere far away, so I don't have to deal with my dumb fucking family. They're the reason I left in the first place," Connor explained. "Anyway, I'm only telling you this so you understand that you can't tell this to anybody. Understand?"

Evan swallowed thickly and nodded. "Got it. I– um, it was good seeing you again."

"No, it wasn't. You barely fucking know me," Connor spat, clicking off the lighter. The two boys were left in utter darkness again. "Now, get lost."

And with that, Evan turned and left back to his own home without a word of objection.


	2. Reevaluation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan gets through another day and an encounter with his mother.

The school day after Evan's unusual encounter was hectic, as expected. Evan traversed through the hallways in his usual manner: hunched over and unseen. As expected, questions and thoughts about Connor's sudden appearance plagued his mind this time, although he could hardly be blamed. Anybody else would act the same way.

Of course, the day ended with the usual run-in with Jared, who didn't even realize that Evan was even more abrupt and quieter than usual. They casually discussed the content they covered in their classes, and then went off on their separate ways back home.

On the way home, Evan decided to drop by the same alleyway he had trekked through the night before, hoping to see Connor. He had too many questions to count, and as he walked, he tried to decide which to ask first. However, Connor was nowhere to be seen as Evan arrived in the shady alleyway.

The boy wouldn't admit defeat that easily, regardless, and opted to come by later on in the evening. Having nothing else to do at that exact time, however, Evan decided to walk back home at a leisurely pace, taking in the sights of the town.

He got home and went straight to his room, completely avoiding the kitchen, where he knew his mom would be making dinner. His mother, Heidi Hansen, was a sweet woman, yes, but she was always so engulfed in her work.

Often times, she'd rely on Evan's therapist to point out and tend to Evan's problems while she was constantly on duty at the hospital. It wasn't a preferable circumstance, of course, but she was unable to do anything for her son until she actually took some time off. For that reason, Evan resented talking to her, knowing that things were normally tense or awkward when they did speak to each other.

Thus, Evan flung himself onto his bed and lay static for a long while, swimming in his own thoughts. He found the process to be oddly relieving, since he was thinking things through rather than overthinking. Strangely enough, it often quelled his otherwise constant anxiety.

There was a quiet knock at Evan's door after a while, and Heidi entered with a plate in one hand. She walked slowly toward Evan, retaining a warm smile.

"Evan, honey, I made dinner," she chirped. She thought the gesture of cooking for Evan, which was normally rare, was one that would bring them closer. Instead, Evan simply took the plate when she offered it to him, gave her a small nod of acknowledgement, and placed it in front of himself on the bed.

With a defeated sigh, Heidi walked out of the room, knowing a simple meal really wouldn't be enough to bring the two closer together. Drearily, she went back into the small office next to her bedroom and worked on her usual things. Perhaps she'd be able to connect with Evan another day.

Within a couple of hours, Evan had managed to eat the food and finish the homework he was assigned that day. The process of completing it was long and tedious, but by the time he had finished, it was already pretty late.

Deciding that it would be the best time to do so, Evan exited his room quietly, bringing his phone along with him. In a discreet manner, he snuck out of the house and began his short journey to the same alleyway he had met Connor in the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a filler chapter! I have some better stuff planned for tomorrow, though!


	3. Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Here's a new chapter!

"Why did you come back?"

Connor stared at Evan with the look of inquiry. The anxious, shorter boy nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

"I'll leave if you want, I just—"

"I'm not asking you to go, I'm asking why you're here."

There was a moment of utter silence. The air was thick with tension as the two boys locked eyes. Evan was the first to break eye contact, since he generally cracked under immense amounts of stress. He stared at the ground with a small, quiet sigh.

"I still have questions," he admitted, biting his lip in stress. Connor noticed how awkward Evan appeared and huffed airily.

"Yeah, okay, whatever," Connor mumbled sullenly. He might as well humor Evan, since the shorter boy seemed to be his only company in a while that even bothered to come back. "Just keep it quick."

Evan nodded hesitantly. "Why would you fake a suicide when you could just run away? You destroyed your family, Connor."

The taller boy rolled his eyes, as if the answer was obvious. "They wouldn't go hunting for a dead body. That's below their standards."

"Okay... why do you dislike your family so much in the first place, then?" Evan knew he could be considered intrusive and nosy, but the worst Connor could do was just not answer his question. Surprisingly enough, however, he did.

"They expect me to be content with my life and circumstance just because I was born into a rich family. I think that's why I formed some sort of rebellion complex. I don't know."

Evan took a short moment to consider what Connor had just said. He felt rather sympathetic for the long-haired teen. Deciding not to press Connor any further about his personal issues, Evan managed to change the subject. "So, have you, uh, made any new friends?"

"I want you to imagine yourself in my situation," Connor said flatly. "Do you think you'd make any friends as a teenage runaway?"

"I— no," Evan admitted, staring at the ground. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't conjure up any other questions for Connor that didn't seem like an invasion of his privacy.

"Do you have anymore questions, or will you finally leave?" Connor asked, although his nonchalance was a façade. Even though he had barely known Evan from the time they had first met in the school hallway, there was something calming about answering his questions. It was somewhat relieving to vent through his responses.

"Yeah, um," Evan stammered, fidgeting his hands as he spoke. "I-I know we've barely talked, and you did kind of push me down in the hallway that one time, but did you maybe want to hang out?"

Connor laughed dryly, staring down at Evan. "Are you sure you aren't just asking because you feel bad? Because you really don't have to do this."

Evan reluctantly shook his head. "No, you just seem... lonely." He took a moment to reflect on what he had just said, and realized how rude he may have sounded. "No offense, of course. God, sorry, that sounded really blunt."

"It's fine, Evan. I guess we can hang, or whatever," Connor mumbled. In all honesty, he was surprised that he decided to oblige. He knew, however, that he'd go insane if he was forced to be in solitude constantly. Perhaps having an actual friend would prove to be enjoyable.

"Okay, nice. Cool." Evan offered a small, friendly smile. "Maybe we can go get lunch on the weekend? It's generally not very crowded at this one diner, so you wouldn't be discovered."

After a moment of consideration, Connor sighed. "All right, that'll work."

Evan nodded. This would be the first time he genuinely hung out with Connor. Sure, he had lied about being Connor's friend a while back, but there was a possibility that they could actually be buddies now. Evan was genuinely surprised that Connor hadn't gotten onto him for the spiel of lies he had created. The anxious boy had come to the conclusion that the taller boy hadn't been informed of his fabrications. He'd keep it that way.

"Cool, do you have a phone I can contact you on?"

Connor shook his head. "I am off the grid. I faked a suicide, Evan, I can't have anybody realizing that I have a phone."

Of course. The thought completely slipped Evans mind. "O-okay, yeah, sorry. We can just plan right now. How does Saturday at three in the evening sound? There's this really small, quiet diner across from—"

"I know where it is, don't worry about it," Connor interjected abruptly, absentmindedly tapping his foot on the dense gravel below his feet. "That time is fine. I'll see you there."

Connor knew that he was jeopardizing his confidentiality, but he had already agreed to meet with Evan before he knew what he was doing. Perhaps he was being reckless, but he knew that if he was left alone to his own thoughts for any longer, he'd go mental.

"Alright, cool. I'll go now," Evan said, cutting Connor's internal dialogue short. "Bye, Connor."

"Bye," Connor said simply, watching Evan's shadowed face as the anxious boy turned to leave.

It occurred to Connor that it was a Thursday night, meaning that he'd have a full day to prepare. His gaze followed the smaller boy as he scampered away.

What an eventful night.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm probably gonna update every few days. Feel free to leave your criticism and thoughts!


End file.
